 |
|||
|
|
WRITINGS |  |
|
 |
Our Right to Know Unpleasant Truths November, 2000 Questions I would have asked at Tuesday night's Town Hall Meeting in St. Louis, Missouri. Questions that cut to the core of what's really on the minds of the American public. Governor Bush, you are a child of a mediocre former President. You've been described as a frat boy, a party boy, a cokehead, someone who probably didn't qualify for Yale or Harvard, but got in because of his family's wealth and connections; someone who didn't study very hard while at either institution. Essentially a coaster, a mid-brow dolt, who depends mightily on the help of those far smarter. Sir, how would you address those questions about your character, and how can we be sure that a rich white boy from Texas has any clue about the needs and struggles of America's working families? Vice President Gore, a recent survey found that people being treated for high anxiety found you a terrifying, abrupt, robotic, overamped, childish, emotionally immature, inconsiderate know-it-all who doesn't know when to stop. If these claims are true, what would you do as President to redress these gross imbalances in your character? Governor Bush, why is it that you have that little hunch in your back that reminds so many of a racist Southern sharecropper? Vice-President Gore, do you think America is ready for a "differently sized" First Lady? Governor Bush, can you describe your first experience snorting powdered cocaine? And who sold it to you? Vice-President Gore, you said your wife Tipper pioneered warning labels on records after your daughter brought home a record whose lyrics Tipper either found intrinsically objectionable or upset her lithium balance. Are you aware that teenagers today deliberately buy records with warning labels? Governor Bush, be honest now, how long do you think Dick Cheney is going to live? Vice President Gore, was "the kiss" overcompensation for "the lisp?" Governor, do you love black people? Actually, sir, let me put this a better way: do you LOOOOVE black people? Vice President Gore, tell us one thing you remember from your first Grateful Dead concert. The esteemed John Kennedy of JKennedy@Unstrung.com has two further questions, gentlemen. Governor Bush, after delivering a well-rehearsed punch-line or put-down your eyes seem to dimly glow and you raise your top lip slightly to show your upper teeth in a nearly feral snarl. However unpleasant you look, it appears you think you have said something humorous. As it is obvious the comment doesn't make you really laugh, do you do this: a) as a signal to the audience that THEY should laugh; b) because your advisors have told you the line is funny but you don't really get it; c) because this is how you looked when you gave nerds at Yale--not unlike nerdy Al Gore--wedgies and watched other fraternity members hump fuzzy four-legged animals? Vice President Gore, how will you make the American people understand the subtlety that will be needed during the next four years as President--that a large tax cut, strict anti-abortion, Taft-like isolationism, and guns-for-everyone promises are too simplistic for our global culture--when you are the least subtle person on the planet? |
||
| HOME WRITINGS RESUME PRESS CONTACT BACK TO TOP | |||
